Missed Opportunity : A REDIRECTION

Lately, I find myself walking down memory lane, tracing back milestones and memories I had almost forgotten. One memory in particular resurfaced out of nowhere. It's about a life-changing opportunity that I’ve kept to myself all these years, never sharing it with even my closest friends or family.

Quick Story:
After college, a part of me still yearned to pursue for further study. So, I tried my luck for a scholarship for a Master’s Degree at Mother of Life Center (MOLC).

It was granted and here’s part of the email confirmation that I received:

"Greetings in Mary, Mother of Life!"

We are happy to announce your admission as a scholar at MOTHER OF LIFE CENTER (MOLC) for the academic year 2013-2014. Please find the attached Letter of Acceptance and a Direction Map to the Center, along with the necessary requirements. We look forward to your confirmation and attendance. Congratulations, and may God bless you!"





I was excited about this opportunity, but as a fresh grad, I lacked the financial resources. Eventhough the scholarship covered tuition, I still needed to shoulder transportation, living expenses, and other necessities. Most of the scholars had sponsors from sectarian groups or private people, but I didn’t know anyone who could help me with these costs.

Knowing our family's situation too well, I didn’t tell them. As a fresh graduate, I was hoping to earn immediately, so, I DECLINED the opportunity and instead found employment right after.

While I was at PSI, working as a bayaning puyat, I received another call from MOLC's Dean of Studies, trying to convince me not to give up on the scholarship. Fact: Only two people (including me) from the entire Negros Island had qualified.

I sometimes wonder: What if I had pursued Mother of Life? Would I have become a nun, as I once considered? Or maybe I would’ve finished and followed my passion for teaching Religious Studies?

Well, who knows? It's all in the past now and my "not-stpd-afterall" choices had led me to FH and, eventually, to my husband's loving arms. char! [cheesy ka gurl?]

Indeed, life is full of choices. Some we pursue, some we let go. There’s no sense in dwelling on what could have been. Life is about creating our own meaning from the choices we make. I am where I am, not because it was meant to be, but because I chose this path, and I stand by it.

Happy Birthday, Maria!

Happy Birthday, Maria!

To me, you’re more like a soulmate than just being a neighbor, classmate, distant relative, and barkada. What we have is something special --- it’s in every shared memory and in the unspoken understanding between us -- it is something indescribable. Now, look at you... Sed’s appointed guardian! 

How have you been? I can only imagine how challenging life in Aus must be for you. Having been an OFW myself, I know the weight of being far from home all too well. and I couldn’t be prouder of you for making it this far. Your absence made a great impact on me. I didn't see it coming. You are greatly missed. Since you left, I’ve felt so sepanx, but ofcourse, you know nothing about this because I know you’re already battling homesickness. You’ve had to be strong, and so have I, in different ways. I know you’re doing everything to adjust, to be resilient, and to face the challenges ahead. And I admire you for that.

I truly hope you’ve found some happiness there. I hope you’re fighting for the life you deserve, even when things feel heavy. I know you might be keeping some struggles to yourself, and even though I’d love to ask you all about them, I’ll just wait until you’re ready to share.

Just know that, no matter what, we are always here for you. Ready to listen, ready to support you the way you’ve always supported us. The distance might be far, but our love and connection aren’t going anywhere. We are always with you in prayers.

All I hope for is that you’re okay, that you’re finding strength in each day, and that you remember... we’re here, whenever you need us. You are part of our family.

XoXo, Team V.

Existential Crisis

Featured Book: No Exit

"To be a woman is to confront the freedom and responsibility of existence head-on. As Sartre taught, existence precedes essence, so a woman is not born with a predefined role or purpose. Her essence is something she creates through her actions, decisions, and the meaning she assigns to her life. It’s about living with authenticity, forging her path, and defining what it means to be a woman on her own terms." - ME as a pseudo-existentialist in a beauty pageant

They say that once you dive into the works of Jean-Paul Sartre and Albert Camus, there’s no fixing you. I can relate to that. The first time I picked up their books, I had no idea just how much they would change me. But now, after immersing myself in their thoughts, I can feel the difference. The shift in the way I see the world and my place in it.

Existentialism isn’t just a philosophy; it’s a lens through which everything else starts to look different. Sartre’s ideas on freedom and responsibility, and Camus’ thoughts on absurdity and the search for meaning, have a way of digging deep into your soul. They force you to confront the uncomfortable truths about life, and once you’ve seen those truths, it’s hard to unsee them. 

For me, this journey into existentialism has brought on a deep sense of crisis. It’s not a crisis in the sense of panic or fear, but more of a deep questioning about everything: What does it all mean? What am I supposed to do with this existence? The more I think about it, the more I realize that these questions don’t have easy answers...if they have answers at all.

Knowing Sartre and Camus has made me acutely aware of the contradictions in life. We crave meaning, yet we’re confronted with the "absurd". We’re free to make our own choices, yet that freedom can feel overwhelming. We search for purpose, but purpose is something we have to create for ourselves, often in a world that seems indifferent to our struggles.

And so, here I am, yapping nonsense with these ideas, feeling both liberated and burdened by them. There’s a certain beauty in embracing the absurd, in acknowledging that life doesn’t have to have a predetermined meaning. But there’s also a weight that comes with it, a weight that I carry with me every day.

It’s a strange feeling. Sometimes it feels like too much, like the world is too big and my place in it too small. But other times, it’s empowering to know that I am the author of my own story, that I have the freedom to choose how I respond to the absurdity around me. Oftentimes, it's scary.

I don’t have it all figured out, obviously. I am far from it. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe this isn’t about finding answers, but about learning to live with questions. It’s about embracing the uncertainty, the freedom, the absurdity, and finding a way to make peace with it all... but just how? Well, that's the point, right? To  keep questioning, exploring, and perhaps... growing.

For now, I’ll keep reading, keep (over) thinking, and keep searching. And even though it feels like there’s no fixing me after Sartre and Camus, maybe that’s okay. Just deal with it, okay? It's me now. 

P.S //Thank you for understanding this phase of mine.

What an Unfortunate Event

Yesterday was one of the most stressful days we've had as a family. Dadikins with my son was involved in an accident with a motorcycle driven by a 19-year-old girl who didn’t even have a drivers license. To make matters worse, she had a woman in her late 40s riding on the back, holding a 1-year-old baby boy! Imagine! No license, no helmets, and a baby on board!?

Dadikins was just about to park Primo, when suddenly the motorcycle swerved and crashed into them. It was terrifying for sure that he collapsed after seeing the three of them lying on the road. His blood pressure spiked up. Gladly, a bystander managed to catch him and help stabilize him.

Upon hearing the bad news, I stayed calm---too calm, almost to the point where it scared me. But today, it is all sinking in. I feel heavy, confused, and bitter. It’s hard not to feel used, especially knowing that the law often sides against the car driver, even when it’s the reckless actions of a motorcycle driver at fault. It’s frustrating, and I can’t shake the bitterness of having to pay the price for someone else’s carelessness.

The unlicensed motorcycle driver was injured and had to get stitches on her legs. Thankfully, the baby only suffered a bump on the head. Despite the shock and stress, I went with them to the ER and settled to cover all the hospital bills and medications, which came to more than ₱13,000.

Dadi was detained for  few hours, along with Primo. It was an SOP to be detained for 12 hours if no settlement will take place.

Today, we’re feeling a mix of relief and exhaustion. We’re thankful that Dadi and Primo have both been released from detention and that we’ve signed a settlement agreement.

But the stress of it all is still heavy on our hearts. This incident has left us shaken, and the trauma is something we’ll need time to recover and heal from. We’re holding onto each other tightly, hoping that we can move past this and find peace again.

Solace in Stillness

Today was one of those days. I woke up at 3 PM but stayed in bed until 5 PM, feeling too heavy to move. My only meal was a single Foodman ensaymada bread and a few sips of fresh milk. I had no desire to do anything; my head throbbed, my body ached, and my heart was burdened with a thousand small sorrows. 

It's been 3 days now, and I would randomly tell Dadikins, "Di, I want to cry," and when he asks why, "I don't know why." is what I reply... or maybe... it's a lie? Probably it’s the petty issues happening in my life, or the music in the car that's hurting me, stirring emotions I can't process. I couldn’t bring myself to scroll through socmed --- I just didn’t want to see anyone and any news about "it". Even the thought of watching a GoSe or Ghibli or online retail therapy, hoping to divert my attention, held no appeal. I'm quiet surprised! I certainly know why, but the depth of the hurt surprises me. It’s unexpected  and it's pulling me under. Why and how does "it" managed to weigh so heavily on my heart?

P.S Emily in Paris Season 4 is here and I suddenly felt okay. Plus the new episode of Pulang Araw gave me some light. Yes, OK na si OA! ^^ #Jeonghannnaaaa!

FH: Instrument of God's Grace

The story of our journey, Dadi and I, is one of grit, perseverance, and hard work. We've built our lives, our careers, and our family with the same spirit that has driven us to succeed in the ever-demanding world of real estate.

When we decided to take this path as licensed real estate broker and unit managers, we knew the road wouldn't be easy. It was a challenge we willingly accepted, something worth every step, every sweat, every tears. Our combined efforts have brought us to where we are today: Top Sales Managers, national awardees, and consistent leaders of Team Prime. But our success isn't just about the honor we've garnered all these years... it's about the people we've impacted and the team we've built.

We began our journey humbly, but with great ambition. Partnering with various developers, we quickly established ourselves as top performers, consistently ranking among the best in Visayas and on a nationwide scale. Over the years, we've been recognized as top agents and sales managers, celebrated for our leadership and commitment to excellence. From our early days in Bacolod to becoming nationwide top sellers, it’s been a whirlwind of growth.

But success, we’ve learned, isn’t just about numbers. It’s about building relationships, touching lives, and helping our clients achieve their own dreams of homeownership. It’s about the joy we feel when we hand over the keys to a family’s new home or when our clients realize the long-term value of their investment. Real estate, for us, is not just about properties--- it’s about people and the legacy we’re building.

In 2017, our dreams started to take shape. We invested in our first house, marking a significant milestone for our family. This was just the beginning. In 2022, we expanded our portfolio with a second house investment, and today, we acquired our second ride. Each achievement brought us closer to the "dream life" we envisioned for ourselves, a life where hard work translates into peace of mind and financial security.

Our journey also took us beyond the shores of the Philippines. From Japan to Singapore, Bali to Thailand, Malaysia to Hongkong, our travels have opened our eyes to global real estate trends and the importance of expanding our horizons. We attended international conferences, participated in international roadshows, and cultivated relationships with clients and investors from all walks of life. These experiences have not only enriched our careers but also deepened our understanding of what it means to succeed in this industry.

Yet, amid all the success, we remain grounded in one simple truth: the true measure of success is not found in the places we've been or the things we've acquired, but in the lives we've touched. Our real estate journey is about helping others achieve their dreams while building a legacy beyond material possessions. 

Real estate success is a process. It’s not always easy, but every challenge we’ve faced has been a stepping stone toward something greater. As we continue this journey, we wear our real estate hats proudly, knowing that we’re in the business of making a real, sustainable impact on the lives of real people. We trust the process and embrace the future with optimism.

Through all the milestones we’ve achieved, our investments, our travels, and our recognitions, one thing remains constant: the desire to keep moving forward, to keep striving for more, and to keep touching lives. It’s not easy, but as we often remind ourselves, it’s going to be worth it.

Because of FH/LR, we're not just living, we're thriving. And the best part? This is only the beginning.

An "ALMOST THERE" Dream

Many years ago, I've dreamed of standing before a large audience, sharing my success story as a Guest Speaker at a Graduation Ceremony. I knew it would be SYMBOLIC--- A WINNING MOMENT! 

I’ve always believed that to earn such an honor, one must be a person of success. So, I threw myself into my work, striving relentlessly day and night.

But as the years passed, and graduation after graduation went by without an invitation, doubt crept in. "Was I not accomplished enough?" Then came the day when I saw a Facebook post from an acquaintance who had been invited to speak at our Alma Mater. It stung deeply. But instead of feeling bad, I found a renewed sense of motivation. I worked harder, prayed more, and soon enough, my efforts began to bear fruit.

As I’ve grown older and wiser, I’ve come to realize that success isn’t defined by external validation, it is about how I perceive myself, how I measure my progress against my own standards. Age has granted me the freedom to set my own benchmarks. Success, I’ve learned, is aligning my goals with my values, pursuing what genuinely resonates with me, and embracing my personal growth. With this mindset, I’ve come to cherish my unique journey, understanding that success is a subjective concept --- one that I define for myself only.

Then, yesterday, the long-awaited moment finally arrived. My former teacher invited me to be a Guest Speaker at our Alma Mater’s Recognition Ceremony. While it wasn’t the Graduation Ceremony I’d envisioned, it was close, still, and I was elated. I quickly accepted, eager to share my story with the students, and began drafting my speech immediately. The nerves are there, but so is the excitement, and I’m ready to inspire.

To be invited by my Alma Mater as a guest speaker is more than just an acknowledgment of my accomplishments; it’s an affirmation of my character, values, and the impact I can have on future generations. I am deeply honored by this invitation, and I think I can finally say---“ALMOST THERE.”

P.S. This post was drafted on February 8, 2024, on my Mac Notes.